Christianity
Is like an orchestra
And group of one
Each feeding off the others
Breathing sweet music
Into one beautiful sonnet
And we connect with a group of notes
That can pierce the hearts and souls of people that see us
But who is it that’s seein us
Who is recognizing our song
The last time I tried to play a line with the trombones
We were out of tune and note
And the bass players were afloat
And not really not caring what was really going on at the moment
But enough of these little analogies
But let’s just give ourselves a logical cause
To move in His groove
Church
Bride of Christ
Are we walking together with lives that are pleasing to the Father
Are we good enough to called His Son’s and Daughters
Will He ever say “Well done faithful and true”
I’ve have set myself apart just for you O’ Sovereign. We let our pleasures and hearts often
And there in lies the forgotten message. We lie within ourselves. Tellin ourselves that it’s okay to do what we want
There isn’t a certain tune I have to play
It’s not about His ways
Today. Today. I gonna have a taste of this world. Fill up in it. Delight in it. I’d rather fight for this than a true, God given reality
My frailty is often at times that I’m living a lie and I don’t want people to recognize that I’m livin a lie. But if I really cared that I was livin a lie and admitting that I was livin a lie I think I would just tell somebody today.
And I’ve given the ability to carry a tune. A fine tuned structure I’ve been made from. And I have to say I see His hands often trying to pull that way, but I struggle and fight for my very own every day.
Life is easier when you are willing choke hold yourself with death
And I remember in ninth grade when I thought about putting myself in my own grave. Digging the deepest pit in my heart. I was insecure and broken and tired of living.
I thought “If I could just die right now would anyone miss me? Would any one dare to care if I wasn’t there? I don’t think they really would? No one cares about a kid with few to no talents anyways? I thinking on put my talents six feet in the dirt where they belong.”
And even though I didn’t kill myself during that month of depression I struggled in a year in which there was a recession in which I wanted to end my life, partially at the least.
I’ve thought about my mom and what she would have said if I laid there dead, or even if I had told her what I was thinking 6 years ago. I don’t think it would been very fun. Her eyes would have been covered with tears and she would have opened up with all of her fears tryin to hold me here.
And God wants to catch me from this. Cause from sin comes death and I playing with it like it were some toy. Satan has given me ploy after ploy. And in folly I stupid enough to think it brings me joy.
My pleasures are killing my spirit willing. Someday I should try out His style and maybe I can find it thrilling and often I get this sense when I play with poison that my salvation is spilling out of my soul. No, I’m not that kind of theologian, but God gave me a gift and instead of keeping in it I often run outside into the world in which I chastise my religion and beat myself out of submission.
I’m painting myself red, cutting out my eyes. God!!! Give me vision! Sometimes from this world, maybe I need to be chastised. God has always recognized and been eyeing me. He sought, bought me, wants me. Cries for my death as momma would have if she had seen me. But God sees me as I kneel down in front of His Son’s cross, persecuting the One who ascended above. First he scorned temptation, shame and then death. The One whome, I, a pleasure giver, am called to love.
I am here O’ Sovereign. I am broken. There is my token of appreciation that has gone too long unspoken. I am Son, family, and friend. And I’ll keep trying my best to the very end. Please keep sending your love good friend.
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