Receiving at the Reception

I’ve wondered often what I would say to you when the time comes. I probably won’t even have phrases, sentences or words. You know, I’m probably just gonna lay there moaning, almost dead like cause I really don’t think I have it in me to connect to you in person.

Or maybe I won’t shut up at all. Maybe I’ll get on your nerves like I’ve done to people, at times. I don’t really know, so hopefully this argument is really inconclusive to what our banquet is gonna be like or anything we have together.

I don’t even think I’m gonna able to talk at my own wedding. I really don’t think I’ll have it in me. I think I’m just gonna shed tears in silence at the beauty standing there next to me saying our vows. And even that relationship, playing a beautiful tune, is only til death do us part.

So really what do I, a mere man really have to offer at your feet? What am I gonna say because of the freedom you graciously gave, I won’t even have any tears to portray. That portrayal will be gone cause I left it with the old body when I’m finally free. Cause that is the way I’ll been finally derailed to you and your beauty. Thrusted to your side, unlike the last time I’m not stabbing you to see if you’re dead. I’m that purified soul grabbing you, happy that in my faith and hopes get to find you alive and well.

I wish I could walk with you right now. I’m walking with you, but I MEAN WALKING WITH YOU!!! And yeah, sure I’m on a narrow path, but I want it to be you and me going everywhere like it’s supposed be before I made all this with my crookedness and disobedience. I wanna portray obedience and have you hold me boldly. Not you hold me boldly as I stand an ugly man. Can we… can we now… where is it?

I’ve been lookin forward to our uniting without fighting… I really am. I’ve bottling up everything in anticipation to actually see you lookin at me cause I wanna see you lookin at me and I wanna see clearly. Cause on earth I’m from dirt, stay with dirt, wanna part away from dirt.

You’ve washed more than just my feet to see you in the right seat. You’ve washed more than my feet to hear all of your feats for moments untold.

So, yeah I really don’t know what I’m gonna say. I’m not gonna cry. When I see you I wanna patray something though cause I’m don’t want to be one of those guys who just sits idly by. Not in front of my God. Not gonna carry on that. I’d rather just grab you, but I’m sure I won’t even be able to do that either  cause your presence is seemingly larger than me and at times I find myself in awe of your majesty.

So when I see your majesty I don’t know if I’ll be able to move. If at our uniting, or at the banquet I’ll be able to groove. I really don’t know.  I just want you to know that I hope there is something TO you that I can willingly, abundantly, lovingly show.